There is NO Timeline
There are two types of people in this world.
Those that love planning to their core. You name it they have it scheduled. Their day, week, year, 10 years from now, they already know exactly what their life looks like and they LOVE the process.
Those that live life day by day and hope something sticks. But they are happier that way.
Notice how either way, they are happy with their process. In case you can't tell yet, I am 100% in category number one. Since I LOVE goals, it's kind of a given that I also love scheduling and planning my life. I have been this way for as long as I can remember and 95% of the time it's for the better. Right now, it isn't.
There is a common phrase that reads,
Which yes, when we compare ourselves to others instead of being grateful for all the good things we have in our lives we immediately give up our hope of true joy.
But what about expectations that we put on ourselves without even having to look outside of ourselves? This is most common when we are trying to heal. Whether we are getting over a loss of a loved one, a lost relationship or a betrayal by someone we trust, it is not easy to begin with. Once we start to put expectations and timelines on our healing it only gets worse.
"It's been a year since they passed away, I shouldn't be hurting this much."
"We were only dating for a few months, I shouldn't even think about him anymore."
"Why am I not past this already? I just want to move on!"
I personally have said phrases like these so many times and have seen how destructive it has been in my own life. Timelines are great, but when it comes to healing you can't have a timeline. It won't help the situation, it will only make you be even more obsessive over it. So be okay with being not okay. It may take a long time, but it won't take forever. I promise. And if your friends can't/won't be there for you in the process, they are not your friends, cut. them. off.
Trying to heal? Give yourself the grace to feel and continue to grow at your own pace. Once you are on the other side, no matter how long it takes you, you will be so glad that you didn't judge yourself in the process.