Faith is not a feeling
For years, even after my initial turn towards Christ, I followed this feeling which I thought was faith. My very first prayer journal took me about 5 years to finish because whenever I felt a pull towards Christ, in times of great joy, or more often times of great despair, I would lean in towards him. But if things were just going "okay" he would drift into the background, or maybe to put it better, I would turn in the other direction.
But faith is not a feeling, it is a choice. An action. A decision to trust and believe even when it seems completely irrational.
I have spent this weekend at an "at-home" retreat. Focusing on making space for silence. There were times when I felt like Christ really showed up. There were other times where I meandered around my neighborhood and was much more distracted on how many improvements my neighbors had put on their houses since my last neighborhood walk a few years ago.
We are entering Holy Week. The most important week of the Church year and HOPEFULLY this will be the only holy week we ever have that we will need to be physically away from the Church.
So friend, do not waste it. This time, this is a gift as weird as it sounds. God is asking you what you will do in the emptiness? What will you do? When you only go to Church on Easter and Christmas, will you still show up to mass this Easter? Will you make space for him??
Or will you follow your feelings? Will you keep streaming, keep scrolling, keep ignoring?
This is your chance. This is my chance to choose faith. To draw near to Christ's heart, even when that means that my heart will be pierced with his.
Make your choice. But no matter the choice, Christ still chooses you.